M

Sunday, August 15th
Ok, so right now I'm on a "family holiday". It's great. We're staying in the gaudiest BandB in Ireland, run by some "artist" (OH GOD, it's awful.... My Kid Could paint that, if my kid was a bald dutchman with a fetish for kittycats... He hangs them EVERYWHERE, accentuated by hoards of little porcelain models and plastic tat...
Anyway, it's all lovely, except that my sister complains constantly about how shit we all are, because she's an ubermensch now. I went to the Skelligs ,which were amazing! They are these two Islands, basically just jagged rocks sticking out of the atlantic. And one has been taken over by birds (you think it's white from far away, but it's actually bird shit. You cannot land there, just boat by it, which I did. I saw Ms Laffin there, actually, barking on a rock). THe other Island used to have monks on it. I got you a rock, there, a wierd charcoaly thing with funny colours (because I know how you feel about rocks)..

OH, God, but I'm dying of boredom.... I miss you! Did you get to see the meteor shower??? I went out on the trampoline with R on the last night he was here, and we didn't see anything. But I would recommend fucking on a trampoline, it's brilliant fun.

Oh my God.... THe dutchman is wearing a pink shirt... a pink poloneck t-shirt with green hearts, tucked into his high-waisted trousers.... No... Noo.... please...... Save me...

Anyway, I should go. The world is waiting.




Some time in July or August or something
Hey!
So, it's bank holiday monday (or something), and it occured to me that that makes 0 difference to me at all. Anyway, we'll hopefully be going to Courtmac soon and finally the revelries can begin!!
Hmmm... Well, I told you all about my crazy Welsh adventure: making my way to liverpool (ugh.....), getting shut in the door of the Tate, walking five miles in the cold and the dark to get to R's house only to find that he WASN'T ANSWERING HIS PHONE and then ringing C in a panic for some sage guidance and unbiased sense - and finally being rescued by R (who'd been in the pub... or "down" the pub, as the youth are putting it these days). Anyway, it was all good. Although I have to admit (and I'll admit it to you, because it's a bit too shameful for general consumption), I was a bit creeped out. When he started to undress, I couldn't help wondering, seeing as he's a ginger (don't judge me), whether it was ALL ginger... The answer was pretty freaky - apparently, gingers have pubes like their eyelashes - fairly transparent and quite sparse.
Anyway, I came home, now knowing the reason why C. cancelled on you - and felt really awkward, so I kind of avoided the subject completely. But everything is out of the closet  now, so it's all good. Creepy about C. and E. though. I hope things work out, anyway...
What else??? Hmmm.. Spent the past two days sitting on my arse doing nothing, really. I talked to my mum for ages becasue my Granddad is going in for surgery today and was panicking yesterday (I talked for so long that I ended up accidentally standing up C. which I feel really guilty about). I drove around in circles at the Unigolf parking lot, while my father lectured me to within an inch of his life (one more inch and I would've killed him). I stalled out like 30 times, and each time, my dad got angrier. And I hit a van accidentally. But it served the stupid van right. Parking on MY road...
I also read the paper. And I'm going to read a book for a while, and possibly hit myself in the face with a rock (just for kicks). I wish you were here! I'm going to try (yet again) to send you a telepathic message... Tell me if you receive it...


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....Ok. Now I'll just wait for a response.


M